A Duke Goes To A Day Spa

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Gentle Reader,

I had great plans to detail the GORGEOUS pig that was roasted, sauced, and eaten over the weekend, and to discuss the latest trends in children’s activities today, but there was a storm front that came through and collided with some hormonal hijinks and left me with a giant migraine.  So instead, I’ll show you some pictures and then sign off and spend the evening with the last three “Elementary” episodes of the season (so that I can finish up my post about the State of the Television).  Tomorrow dawns anew.

Anyway, so the other night, Mama and I took a ride in the golf cart (Y’all knew that we all have golf carts and a popular pastime around here in the evenings is to go ride around in the golf cart looking for the various critters around here, right?  If not, you’re up to speed.) and we found Duke and the zebras…

Here is Duke, sporting what I am pretty sure is a seaweed wrap in his antlers.

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And, you know, PART OF A TREE…

(Seriously, the boy knows that he is in charge and handsome and is not worried about us in the LEAST…)

And then we saw the zebras.

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We now have 18 zebras…9 Mamas, 1 Daddy, and 8 babies.  The last one FINALLY happened last week.  It was a girl.  And I asked what the final “boy/girl” breakdown was on the babies and was told that it was as yet undetermined but that they were trying to s*x the babies.  So then I asked the inevitable question, and now know how to s*x a zebra baby.  But it involves getting much closer to the business end of a zebra than I ever care to, so I think that is another career path that is closed off to me.  And since this is a polite blog, I won’t describe the process here.  But zebra vets are underpaid, people.  VASTLY UNDERPAID.

And with that, the television awaits.  Back tomorrow with details about the pig.  (Deer, zebra, pig, WHAT HAS MY LIFE BECOME????)

Goodnight,

Wordie

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