The Hazards Of Inflight Beverages

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Gentle Reader,

So I’ve been meaning to talk about something very serious here on the blog for a few months now but somehow, I’ve always had other things to say.  (And by “other things to say”, I mean “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO SAY BUT HERE ARE 1,098 WORDS TO PROVE IT”.)  So I’m seizing the day.

On my (sudden, unexpected, way-the-hell-too-soon-I-need-to-go-back) return flight from Moscow, several things happened (several things other than Cooper going to heaven, I mean) all of which added up to a perfect Wordie Storm.

1.  The Singapore Airlines people came through several times with drinks, before we even took off, due to the de-icing process. (apparently a huge snowstorm came in from the time I left for the airport and the time I got on the plane, because Moscow traffic is notorious and you have to leave the day before your flight or something like that just to be sure you make it on time)  (which?  I’m a nervous flyer, and on the other end of this flight I had to drive for another 3 hours so I couldn’t Valium the weather problem away…so I was in need of distraction and liquid courage)  Not wanting to be rude, I gladly accepted the nice flight attendant’s hospitality.

2.  Then, the nice flight attendant came BACK through a few times with more drinks after we took off before the first meal (I have no clue what meal it was “supposed” to be because we were late taking off and time differences are confusing.) and so obviously, wanting to be more civilized, I switched to wine.  For health.

3.  Then meal service.  Again, it was for health.

4.  Fish, on an airplane, even Singapore, is a bad decision.

5.  Then I remembered it was Valentine’s Day.  Somewhere-I have no idea what day my body thought it was.  Time differences.

6.  I had already left cards for my people at the ranch, but I decided that Mama sounded like she was kind of at the end of her rope and maybe she needed a special treat.  (This was all before what we now know happened in the next month.)  So I started trying to think about places I could stop either in Houston or on 45 back up to the ranch.  For reasons unknown, it was hard to focus, even on shopping.  Finally decided on my favorite British store on Rice in Houston, some tea towels or a fun teacup.

7.  Figured out how to work the inflight movie itty-bitty screen, Despicable Me 2!  Woo hoo!  Needed movie beverage(s).

8.  The Singapore Airlines flight attendant uniforms look SUPER COMFY, and if I weren’t an apple-shape, I’d be tempted to apply just for the uniform.

9.  The male flight attendant (who was hilarious, BTW) came through with the duty-free announcement.  I promised him I’d look through the catalogue if he’d bring me another beverage.  Amazingly, we both kept our promises.

10.  I found a beauty line I had never heard of before, but was described interestingly in the catalogue, and seemed fairly reasonably priced, and had a bonus set.  Plus, it is a Japanese brand, and I’ve heard excellent things about some of their lines and have never tried them.  (I can remember all of this after drinks, but I can’t remember where the darn mall is in a town to which I am related to nearly half of the residents.)  I grew intrigued.  Decided a fun evening of trying new beauty products with Mama was a nice Valentine’s treat and would save me from having to stop once I landed.  Asked Male Flight Attendant (I wish I remembered his name because seriously, he deserves recognition.) if they had those in their stocks and he said they did.  Sold.

11.  Turned my attention back to the itty-bitty screen and started watching Shawshank Redemption (an oldie, but a goodie).  Needed a couple of beverages.  Airplane air is drying.

12.  Hiccup.

13.  After as refreshing a nap as can be had while stretched out over three seats under a recycled blanket, I got up to stretch, and Male Flight Attendant and I were chatting.  He remembered my name, first and last.  How friendly!  He was still quite funny and really genuinely interested in how he could make my flight more comfortable.  Solicitous is a good word.

14.  Returned to my seat with a Diet Coke and a banana, and began watching 30 Rock.  (It seriously is the longest 12-hour flight ever.  In the history of time.)

15.  Began to wonder about the whole remembering my name and the excellent customer service.  Was, understandably, confused.  Was he on commission for the duty-free stuff?  What the hell did I buy?  Double-checked the price.  More than $20, but I mean, his kids weren’t going to be able to go to private school off my purchase or anything.

16.  Second meal.  Diet Coke and hot tea.  I had a drive ahead of me.

17.  Saw the cover of the catalog…”Prices listed in Singapore dollars”.

18.  EEEEEPPP!  What’s the conversion rate?  Isn’t Singapore’s economy doing REALLY well?  I bet their economy is the only bright one right now.  Why don’t I ever pay attention to the boring news? is a LEGITIMATE SOURCE OF NEWS, people.

19.  Plane lands.

20.  The next month happened.  I didn’t keep track of all of the beverages I consumed during that time period, but IT WASN’T ENOUGH. (But they weren’t inflight beverages so that’s neither here nor there for our purposes.)

21.  Finally, the other night, I remembered the line, grew curious again.  Then something shiny happened, or some such, and I finally got back to it tonight.

The line is called La Neige (menfolk: trust me, I’ll keep this brief) and I’ll reserve judgment and review until I have used it enough times to do anything.  But it isn’t super-emollient or rich.  And lately, my skin has been a little wonky, not knowing what it needs.  So this might be a good thing to have in the batting order especially with summer happening.  A little more research says that several of the products are near-cult status in Korea and Japan, which is one of my weak points.  Tell me something is cult-favorite, and start counting the profits.  I’ve only just (reluctantly) let myself be talked out of the Eve Blom cleanser because nearly every single review of the Ren Purity Balm says how vastly superior that product is to it.  (Plus, the Ren is half the price for twice as much.)  (I’ll be happy to talk about that if anybody cares to read about it.)

Anyway, if you click on the link, you’ll notice an amusing little red bullseye on the site.  Yes.  The line that I paid for in Singapore dollars and at duty-free prices, under “luxury beauty” in the catalogue, is featured exclusively at high-falootin’ Target.

To be fair, my duty-free purchase of same included a donation to clean drinking water charities in Japan, so…TOTALLY WORTH IT.

And with that…



One thought on “The Hazards Of Inflight Beverages

  1. Pingback: Wine Cellar 2.0, Part One | plentyofwordsforyou

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