Confessions of an Accidental Single Gal

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Gentle Reader,

Still here!

So the boys are hanging out with me this week, and I figure it’s a nice time to get back to the blog. I still am not able to post pictures (soon…very soon…) so I decided it was time to launch a new feature here.

I am in my mid-thirties (ouch…that was a painful realization), single, childless, and once again in a World’s Smallest Apartment, with no retirement savings or disposable income and associating with known felons. NONE of these things was on my original planning horizon. My original plan took a nap and woke up in a VERY DIFFERENT PLACE. Some of this new scenery is great. Some? Resembles a block of Brutalist-style government housing behind the Iron Curtain. As a public service to you, Gentle Reader, I’m going to detail some of the finer points of single life from time to time in an attempt to either educate you about the plight of the urban unattached or entertain you at my expense. Same diff.

Tonight, I could ignore the kitchen no longer. Something growled at me when I accidentally opened the refrigerator yesterday, and it was time for an eviction. Even a cursory review of the words here informs the reader that I love cooking, and while I may not love my kitchen here at the World’s Smallest Apartment (I don’t.) we have a respect for each other. But it’s been HOT here, people. And so dinner has consisted of a tomato, maaaaybe a Pop Tart.

(Try selling that one to your eight year-old…)

(Or to CPS in regards to said eight year-old.)

Do I need to mention that since cleaning out the fridge and combining separate foods in interesting combinations to make new foods has been too much effort (because of ALL THE HEAT…), loading the dishwasher has been a largely aspirational goal, too?

Ahem.

So I’ve been unloading the dishwasher on an ad hoc basis for the last week and a half and politely stacking the dirty dishes in my sink. And then on the counter next to the sink when the sink got full. Proud moments, people. Proud moments.

In reloading the dishwasher tonight, I discovered that my sink contained what could very well be the entire R & D pipeline for any pharmaceutical giant interested in crafting new and expensive antibiotics. (Or, perhaps, new and expensive biotics, since the fuzz seemed to largely be alive. In fact, it may have been on its way to developing a central nervous system.)

Mama? The vaccinating and the well-child visits and the medical care and insurance? DOLLARS TOTALLY WELL-SPENT!!!!!!!

I can do this (I don’t-usually) because I am not responsible for the health or nutrition of anybody besides me and two hounds who have been known to eat dirt and occasionally accidentally pee on the drapes…

Goodnight,
Wordie

PS-Thanks for the terminology, E! I hate it when I forget words!!!!