Not a list this time! (You’re welcome!)
But before we dive in to today’s riveting topic, I feel the need to share with you the most recent photographic evidence that The Boys are, without question, smarter than Scout the Ranch Cat/Trained Killer.
She’s been staring at that thing for the majority of her three waking hours per day for at least two weeks. It’s starting to get creepy.
To answer your question, no. We have no idea why.
The Boys, on the other hand, stare out the window on guard against the many, MANY threats that exist out at the Ranch.
(But she’s got her socks on.)
Anyway-let’s talk television.
I love this time of year. Except it seems like Mack Brown’s strategy this year (and so far, I’m being charitable when I call it a “strategy”) is to load up the front end of the season with games against The Little Sisters of The Poor Teachers College’s practice squad and The Irwin County College of Chicken Husbandry and then move on to the bigger talent later in the season, when we’re MUCH more rested and less likely to have injuries. This doesn’t have “disaster” written all over it.
(See-this is the ONLY time of the year that I can say things like that and it won’t matter that I am not exactly “proficient” in football analysis.) (Seriously, Miss Cleo has more football cred.)
And, (oh, Andy, let’s just go ahead and face the fact that I will indeed live up to my name with this post…) let’s talk for a second about Texas’ other football team. (No, not Tech. I suggest that we sell Lubbock to Oklahoma and use the money to buy us all some great handbags.) As a dyed in the wool UT gal, I’ve previously been contractually obligated to dislike that school in College Station. (Aside-I’m watching “King of the Hill” on Netflix and the episode where Peggy and Min get into a blood donation contest because they both want a “Gallon Club” coffee mug? HI-larious. No matter how many times I watch it.) (I really am from Texas, aren’t I? We’ve mentioned the talking, the UT/A&M rivalry, how none of us understands why Tech bothers, and King of the Hill. All in one paragraph. Wow.) (Let’s complete the cultural stereotype–does anybody know where the NRA Second Amendment seminar is next year?)
Where was I? Oh, right.
So with the departure of A&M to the SEC, I’ve had thoughts. While my heart will always live in Austin, the fact remains that I did not attend UT for any of my post-secondary studies. I went to Vanderbilt for my undergraduate degree, and my introduction to the glory of college football took place in the SEC. Also known as the best football conference, EVER. And since I went to, well, Vandy (“Everybody’s Homecoming Team”, as my cousin Claire calls it. And she went to Ole Miss.) I can root for other SEC teams. (No seriously, it’s written on my diploma.) So, my idea of perfection is a great tailgate on The Grove, with chandelier (because we’re not savages here, people), followed by an afternoon in Tuscaloosa. Roll Tide Roll. If the ‘Dores win? So much the better.
I love my SEC because we have our traditions. We dress for football games (it’s just so much more civilized to attend a football game in a little black dress, your modest strand of pearls, and kitten heels–face paint does NOBODY any favors, especially when applied to both the face and the torso…), there’s the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, the Grove, the entire universe that is Bear Bryant, and, well, I think Kentucky plays some basketball.
And so when A&M announced their departure to the SEC, my initial response was pretty much the same as everybody else here in The Great Republic. “WHAT WILL WE WATCH BEFORE THE COWBOYS GAME ON THANKSGIVING???” I actually can’t look too hard at ESPN.com because THERE IS A GIANT HOLE IN NOVEMBER THAT NO AMOUNT OF CONGEALED SALAD CAN FILL. And, if I’m not properly prepared for the shock, I start crying all over again.
But, ever searching for the silver linings here, I have figured out that the A&M defection might not be the gigantic ball of awful it might seem. (Aggie friends? You’re going to want to bookmark this page so you can come back and read it later. I just took a peek at your schedule and I’m thinking that you’re going to need the 12th through 57th Man to get through November.) (The awesome part about your school is that if that really were to come to pass? You’d totally be there, and bring along a 58th Man, just in case.) (Consider doing this. Please.)
The SEC, while being a breeding ground for football legends, is also famously loyal to her traditions. (If I’m correct, there is an actual NCAA rule about one school and her proud cowbell tradition.) A&M, you can teach them a thing or two about tradition and what it means to be a fan. I think that other than the actual football? This union is already a fantastic idea. The football bit? My fervent prayer is that y’all ramp up quickly to minimize the fractured and mangled limbs. But, they now make maroon Sharpies so if need be, you can sign your team’s casts in school appropriate colors.
And I’ve always been a little bit awed and, oh I’ll go there, jealous of the A&M traditions and community. Do not misunderstand, “The Eyes of Texas” brings tears to my eyes. Bevo is like a beloved pet. I root for UT. Always. But my idea about A&M began to change after the bonfire tragedy. The Aggie response? Made me dang proud to be a Texan. The UT response? Ditto. I think we were all Aggies for that game, that year. And I realized the depth of the A&M community, and I liked it. Texas’ loss is the SEC’s gain. And since y’all are now a part of the SEC? I can cheer y’all on, AND STILL keep my devotion to UT. Except if one day we find ourselves pitted against each other for the BCS Championship. That day? Burnt Orange forever. (I honestly couldn’t type that without giggling. While I’d be tickled to have that eventuality happen, I’m not betting on that for the next few years.)
And I started out this wandering journey through the barrens of my tiny brain wanting to talk about fall television. I thought that I had a lot to say about that, and the more I think about it, I don’t. I’ll summarize:
-Glee is dead to me.
-I miss Dr. House. Deeply.
-American Horror Story? Do we have a support group out there? Because I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to stand it until the premiere. The teasers? BEYOND creepy, and I WANT MORE!!!
-Breaking Bad? WHOA! Game changer, hmm? We are also going to need a support group for that, because I hear we have to wait until NEXT SUMMER for the rest of the season.
-The rest of my viewing habits remain unchanged. Both the shows I tell people I watch, and then the ones I don’t actually admit to watching. I’ve watched a couple of the new shows, nothing really speaks to my soul. Does anybody have other thoughts?