1. WELCOME TO THE WORLD, WCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have two singularly AWESOME families and we’re all just tickled to death that you’re here! We love you a WHOLE BUNCH!! (But send a gal a photo at some point, m’kay?)
2. The Sir,
(Now, really, people, I have a photo of my dog in my bed. The new baby? Well why ON EARTH WOULD I HAVE THAT?????)
But anyway, The Sir has determined that his half of the bed comes from the middle. Apparently sometime around Sunday at like 3:00 in the morning. I awoke yesterday to my back reminding me of every single time I have abused it in my near 19-years on this earth. (I’m sticking with my earlier assessment about myself and numbers.) And today, it was worse.
I’m counting on modern parmaceuticals, via the doctor via the pharmacist, to make it better. If tomorrow I post as Dina, my alter ego who is on tour with Miley Cyrus? You’ll know it’s working.
(But if I post photos of myself in anything from Forever 21? You are hereby instructed to come to The World’s Smallest Apartment and remove ALL communicative devices until it passes.)
3. (Or 2b?) In relation to the second item, it has been decided that until I am able to provide him with the king sized bed he was promised during grad school, The Sir cannot sleep in the big bed with me any more. I know, it’s his constitutionally guaranteed sleeping right. I will field the phone calls from Amnesty International tomorrow, when I’ll be so drugged up I don’t care. So I decided today that I would employ the “spray bottle” method of diversion. Par example:
Sir: hops up and snuggles in somewhere between my kneecaps and shoulder blades
Sir: hops down, offended.
But as I was waiting at the pharmacy today, I forgot to get a new spray bottle.
4. The only spray bottle I have that doesn’t have some kind of caustic chemical inside of it (I don’t want to hurt the boy, I just want my back to be straight.) is my leave-in conditioner bottle.
5. The answer to your question is yes, yes he is a first world dog, being trained with Leave-In Conditioner as a threat.